Sunday, March 07, 2010

Christians and Lightbulbs

Q: How many Lutherans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Thirty. One to actually change the bulb, and twenty-nine to say how much they disapprove of change and liked the old one.

Q: How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, since his hands are in the air anyway.

Q: How many Calvinists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. God has predestined where the lightbulbs will be on.

Q: How many youth pastors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Youth pastors aren't around long enough for a light bulb to burn out.

Q: How many Anglo-Catholics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They always use candles instead.

Q: How many Evangelicals does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Evangelicals do not change light bulbs. They simply read out the instructions and pray the light bulb will decide to change itself.

Q: How many Atheists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One. But they are still in darkness.

Q: How many TV evangelists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One. But for the lightbulbs to continue to be changed, send in your donation today!

Q: How many campfire worship leaders does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One. But soon all thoses around can warm up to its glowing.

Q: How many conservative Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to change it and two to storm out in protest if the person changing it is a woman!

Q: How many missionaries does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Ten. Five to determine how many can be changed by the year 2000, four to raise the necessary funds, and one to go find a native to do the job!

Q: How many Charismatics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Twenty-one, one to change it, and twenty to share the experience!

Q: How many Baptists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and Jell-O desserts.

Q: How many Methodists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one, but first the whole church wants to make sure no one will be offended by the change.

Q: How many Southern Baptists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One to change the lightbulb, and 16 million to boycott the maker of the old bulb for bringing darkness into the church.

Q: How many Seventh Day Adventists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 144,000 with God's seal on their foreheads, giving the
loud cry which will lighten the earth.

2 comments:

The Celebrated Author said...

Muchly like.

Aaron Nemoyer said...

Thankee kindly. I wrote a couple of them myself, and I am rather proud of them.